Shadow of a man.

What kind of a fool does this?

It's true... this concept of nobility is alien to me. I am vulnerable to my instincts... to hide when there is danger, to lash out when hurt... to inflict my flaws onto others.

And this time, I have managed to prove to myself once and for all... that I am, at my core, something ugly... and it will not change. Those lofty ideals I claim to have are artificial choices, they don't come naturally to me. I assume the worst in people. Just because I know the worst in me.

If you are here to spy on your voyeur, leave now. Don't waste your time seeing him indulge in self-pity.

Paranoia. I still don't believe that I managed to waste so much emotion playing hide and seek with my own head, eventually working myself into a frenzy of poisonous thoughts. And this poison still lingers, even though it no longer has a source.

What If?
Who lied?
Does it even matter? Hah. No. If this was a test of character, I failed spectacularly. That I may not be the only one... is not a subject for me to ponder.

I am not a good person. I can't fool myself any longer. I don't deserve this, or anything else, apart from what I can claw out for myself. How am I supposed to tell people this?

It's so easy to be fooled when you haven't seen my flaws.
Don't look to me. I can't be anything to anyone.

Until I find something of value, something of substance in myself, I am only the shadow of a man.