An Ode to the Nice Guys

For a little change, I'll put up something I didn't write, because I think that those who come across my blog would probably belong to the target audience.
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http://www.stwing.upenn.edu/~jenf/writing/rant04.html

Ode to the Nice Guys
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003

Vindication eh?

A little structure to the madness.

Today I get started on a metaphorically massive stack of ebooks. I haven't read much ever since I got here, and now I feel a little left behind.

I think I will venture forth a little further now, the basic tenets of my understanding are already in writing- and I want to see how my view of the world changes after I allow it to interact with a myriad of philosophies and perspectives. I do not count on it changing much... what I preach is not wisdom or higher thought, but a fundamentally raw approach to things. Time to get started on the pile of Marx, Engel, Spender, Payne, Voltaire, Nietze, Plato, Aristotle and (of all people) Lovecraft amongst others. A friend even recommended the vedantas and the upanishad, but I had to go with my instinct on those- I cannot understand the concept of sacrificing your worldly desires, without them you are an empty shell, what is the meaning of enlightenment without the desire to act.

They may not change the way I look at the world, but I may be able to understand the dogmas that others emphasize.

I notice that it is always coldest just before dawn,

...It stings.
I wince.

Boredom is no longer an issue, it seems.

I wake up and walk to the water fountain.

I feel bored and look at the notices- I've been gone for 3 days-

These are the new ones...
- Lecture on the applications of fluid dynamics in Engineering. (Blegh)
- Business Plan Writing Competition (Meh.)
- Coding competition by the Computer Science association. (I'm not good enough.)
- Ad Campaign Design Competition.
- Mister And Miss Oasis Competition. (They've been pestering me to join this. NO.)
- Short story writing competition. (Hey cool.)
- Suicide Note writing competition at midnight. (Awesome!)
- BLAB (An interjectory extemporary)
- Comedy Performance by Mr. Sunil Pal, Tickets on sale.
- Solo Dance Competition/Dance-Off in the open amphi-theatre tonight.
- Open Mic: A Bathroom Singing Competition.
- Photography Club Presents... Exposure- Exhibition-cum-competition. (Hmm, I have a camera now)
- Treasure Hunt (Think you know campus?!)

Damn, I don't have enough time to take part in/go see all these things. I'll have to pick a few.
If this is what it is like when we don't have a fest... what will it be like when we do?

Scratch 'neath the surface.

I wanted to know the state of my mind.

So I closed my eyes, and listened to it.

Once again, I stood immersed in a silent, neverending, roar... a hurricane rampaging chaotically throughout my psyche- seemingly without any purpose or intent.

A storm in one eye, invisible to all.

This is my peace, like a devouring mine-fire, it intensifies and subsides on the surface, but survives uninterrupted underground. Like a whirring machine, and a turbulent flow. I wish the machinery of thought and action would just cease, for a change, no analysis, no calculation, no estimation, no doubt, no fear, no anger and no desperation... no destructive obsession...

I cannot deny that it is an enticing prospect then, for something something to numb the pain, to drown out the noises and shut down the machine... but peace obtained through chemical means is not silence, it is deafness.

I can imagine true peace, perhaps I have experienced it before. There is no hatred. There is no self pity, no self doubt. I want that- for there to be no connotations and implications, no petty prophecies, and for me to be certain that what I do is pure action, done without ulterior motive or malicious intent. Confidence, assurance, will come naturally. Wisdom will follow.

Just what am I, if I must doubt my own intentions?

Question from a Facebook Quiz

			Your son comes and tells you he is going to be a missionary in Africa, you If that's God's plan for his life, you are okay with that. hope he will be safe and you know you will go crazy missing him. you pray for direction for your son, that he will do what is right. You help him get ready and already start planning a work and witness trip there you know that doing the Lord's work is always fulfilling so you are excited for him
			Hidden Option-"Go back to college you stupid moron."